NOTE: what follows is a story involving mature themes, centered on pregnancy and birth, with some strong scenes. Don’t go forward if you are not comfortable with those, or if you are not older than 18 years old.
There is a small group in front of an Abortion clinic. It is a group of young people, small in number but big in noise. They hold signs saying:
“ABORTION IS MURDER”
“YOUR UNBORN BABY IS A HUMAN BEING”
And other slogans like that. The people in this group are members of The Pledge Club, an association that belongs to a University in the city. That specific University is a religious institution, with one of the most restrictive codes of conduct in the country. No alcohol, religious classes are mandatory, and of course sex before marriage is forbidden, in fact it is not even talked about. The Pledge Club was an association created years ago to make the students more politically active, following the teachings of the college. As part of that, they would hold protests in front of abortion clinics like they are doing today, participate in political rallies to stress the importance of religion in politics, make mail campaigns against gay marriage, and so on and so forth.
One of the girls in the protest is Jane. She has long brown hair, green eyes, a great smile and looks quite petite. She is next to a blonde girl named Caroline, her roommate and best friend in college. Above Jane’s head, she is holding a sign with the picture of a fetus, under which is printed “I AM A HUMAN BEING”, and she chants slogans enthusiastically. She is wearing a football jersey, that corresponds to the University team and it is really large. It was made for one of the extra large members of the football team, and it makes her, with her petite body, almost disappears. Which is good, because the jersey also hides the completely out of proportion belly underneath it. It is a very round, salient and gravid womb, that wouldn’t leave any doubt that the person carrying it is pregnant, if not pregnant with multiples. It’s just one baby, though.
A woman, looking scared, passes by them and starts going up the stairs that take to the entrance of the clinic. The group starts screaming loudly:
“DON’T DO IT!”
“YOUR BABY IS ALIVE!”
“WE CAN HELP YOU!”
“WE ARE GOING TO GIVE YOU FINANCIAL HELP!”
“WE CAN TAKE CARE OF YOUR BABY!”
Jane is screaming too. She is thinking: “How can she do that? I didn’t do that for my baby, and I’m in a much more difficult situation.” At this point, we should go back some months ago, to understand how this situation came to be.
It all started at a college party. It was a “party”, though, that students from other Universities wouldn’t recognize as such. Because of the strict rules of this college, there was no alcohol, there were chaperones present, and the whole thing was quite tame. Nevertheless, it was still quite fun for the people present. Some of the members of The Pledge Club were present, including Jane and Caroline. There were also some of the guys from the football team, big, buff man. Among this last group there was one player who is pretty big, even by football player standards, with blonde hair, blue eyes and a great smile. His name is Adam, and Jane had a big crush on him. The night went on and everybody was having a great time.
Nature being what it is, despite everything set up to avoid this from happening, Adam and Jane somehow ended up in a bedroom, just the two of them. They kept on talking, innocently enough at the beginning. But then, they started going into more intimate stuff. Finally, after quite some conversation, Adam got the guts to propose something to Jane, something that he would only propose to her because he trusts her. He stated that he had never seen some parts of human anatomy. More specifically, some female parts of the human anatomy. He was pretty sure that she hasn’t seen the corresponding parts of the male human anatomy either, so he proposed that he show his, and she shows hers.
Jane is insecure at the beginning, but Adam is super cute, they are both very religious, therefore nothing bad can happen. He started, and showed his private parts to her. She was very impressed: she had never seen that before. Of course, she had imagined before how it would look like, but the real thing surprised her. Now it was her turn. Awkwardly, she showed her private parts. He didn’t even ask, but she also exposed her breasts. She was really anxious to see what was his reaction, if he would find her attractive or not.
She didn’t expect at all what happened: he held his head in his hands and started crying. She felt extremely embarrassed, and covered herself pretty quickly. She asked:
“Am I… that ugly?” There are tears in her eyes too.
“No, no, no… It has nothing to do with you.”
“So, what’s the problem?…”
“Well… What I’m going to tell you now you cannot tell to anybody else. ANYBODY ELSE! Do you understand?”
“I swear, you can trust me.”
“Well… recently… I’ve had some urges…”
“Don’t beat yourself for that… With all the agitation of the games, the cheerleaders and all, that’s natural…”
“You don’t understand… I am… I am having the wrong kinds of urges…”
At first, she didn’t understand. That is not a possibility that comes up in this University. After hearing for so long that it is the ultimate abomination, out of everybody a football player is the last person she would have imagined. But it finally dawned on her:
“Oh, my…” There was a shocked look on her face.
“My heart knows that is very wrong. I’ve tried to push those kinds of thoughts out of my mind. But they keep coming back. No matter how hard I try. It’s coming to the point that I’m thinking about the water tower…”
The campus has a really tall water tower in the middle of it. Some months ago, a student found a way to climb a little ladder on its side, reached the top, and then jumped. That reference made Jane freak out:
“No, no, no! Don’t say that! We are going to find a way to help you with this!”
“I don’t know what to try… I thought that seeing you… with less modesty… would bring something. But I felt nothing. There was nothing. Don’t feel bad about yourself… I heard the other guys in the locker room saying that you’re really attractive. It’s me. I’m not a good human being…”
And with that, he started sobbing. Thoughts were coming fast and furious to Jane’s mind. I need to help this fellow human being. He is in an incredibly difficult situation. He needs my charity now. On top of that, he is so cute… And he looks desperate. If I don’t do something, a tragedy may happen, and I’ll carry the fact that I could have helped and I didn’t for the rest of my life.
With that last thought, Jane took a decision. There was no hesitation in her about what to do. Even though that felt quite difficult, she took a deep breath and removed her clothes. All of them. Then she proceeded to remove his clothes. He understood what was about to happen, and didn’t say anything.
They were both feeling extremely awkward, but Jane pressed on. She started fondling his private parts. Nature eventually took over and the expected result happened. It wasn’t a good sign, though, that he kept his eyes closed. Then, she climbed on him. It hurt. Real bad. But she pressed on. That was his best chance of recovering from what was happening to him, and she tried her best.
After quite some time, during which he kept his eyes closed, she felt that something was being gushed inside her. She had succeeded. Either this would fix him, or nothing would. He opened his eyes and said meekly:
“Thank you… I’ll try to remember this, when I have any… wrong thoughts.”
Still very awkwardly, they got out of bed. They cleaned themselves the best they could in the little bathroom attached to the bedroom, and put on their clothes. Then, he left. She waited a bit, so people wouldn’t notice, and later she left too. When she rejoined the party, she saw that Caroline was talking to two other female students, something about the latest political thing. It seemed to be a heated argument. Caroline turned to her:
“Ah, Jane, don’t you agree with me? We should bring Roe v. Wade again to the Supreme Court! I think the current court is the most receptive we are ever going to have about abortion!”
Before Jane could say anything, one of the other girls answered:
“No! Justice Kennedy reinforced Roe v. Wade the last time this came to court, and there is no reason he is going to change his mind now!”
And the discussion went on like that. Jane didn’t pay much attention. She was thinking about had just happened.
The weeks passed after that party. She didn’t hear much from Adam, but he was busy with football practice. Then, at one meeting of The Pledge Club, one of the girls said that Adam and another football player had abruptly left the University. On the following day, Jane went to talk to the coach to see if there was some way of contacting Adam. The coach gave the impression that he really didn’t want to talk about this: no, he didn’t leave any phone number, or e-mail, or other way to contact him. And he told her that none of the other players would know about that either.
That was quite unfortunate timing, because her period was late.
At the beginning, she tried not thinking about it. But eventually the need to know took the best of her, and she bought a home pregnancy test, feeling extremely fearful that somebody would see her at the pharmacy. At home the result was clear: she was pregnant. That wasn’t a total surprise because she had already had to run to the bathroom to puke her guts out a couple of times before, but still, the official confirmation was quite a shock.
But, that didn’t cause her to make any major change in her life. Jane dealt with this problem the way college students do with many other problems: she tried to forget about it, and eventually it would fix itself up. The only decision she took was that nobody, but nobody, could know about this. A member of The Pledge Club getting pregnant out-of-wedlock would be just too humiliating.
That would be somewhat of a challenge because her pants were already getting tight on her waist. She did then what many other women in her situation had done in the past: she started getting large and loose pieces of clothing. Jane discovered that football jerseys were the best: the football players were humongous guys, and on her petite frame the jersey made her almost disappear. But her gravid abdomen would disappear too, which was exactly what she was looking for. This also had the added benefit that nobody would question why a student would be wearing a football jersey from the college’s team.
Talking about her belly, soon enough it started to enlarge. And enlarge. And enlarge some more. Jane started getting scared: was she expecting twins, or triplets? That was really concerning her. Until, one day, she heard one colleague at a Pledge Club meeting talking about how she discovered this disgusting, seedy “clinic” in a shady part of town, where supposedly pregnant illegal immigrants were going, some of them to give birth. This colleague had somewhat of an interesting story: she had been out of the University for some months before, because her mom unexpectedly got pregnant. She went back home to help her mom throughout her pregnancy, and returned to college a couple of months after the baby was born. Quite often she would have her baby sister spending time with her at college. Anyways, that colleague was commenting that they should call the authorities to close that “horrible place for illegals”.
Subtly, Jane asked the location of the clinic, in the middle of conversation, agreeing that they should contact the authorities about it. On the following day, she drove there, trying to be as discreet as possible.
The place was really seedy and scary. The majority of the signs were in Spanish. She waited in a room, together with other women in various states of pregnancy, all talking in Spanish. One woman in a corner would moan now and them, which would make Jane wonder if she was in labor. Finally, her name was called.
There was a chunky small woman in the office, with glasses. Jane didn’t know if she was a doctor or just a nurse, but it didn’t make a difference. Jane said:
“Yes, I speak english. Please take your clothes off and lay down there. Put your legs on the stirrups.”
After that night with Adam, nobody had seen her naked again. But she realized that in this place there would be no gown. Taking a deep breath, she took off her clothes. Her round pregnant abdomen was clearly visible. She laid on the examination table.
“You’re from the University, aren’t you?”
“You would be surprised how many of your female colleagues have passed by here. OK, are you at the end of the pregnancy?”
“Actually, it’s more towards the middle.”
“You may be expecting multiples then. Let me get the ultrasound machine.”
She put a gooey substance on her womb, and then the ultrasound probe. The screen showed a big baby, moving around a lot. This first vision of her baby made her eyes get wet.
“Well, it seems that actually you have one really big baby inside of you. I guess the dad is a football player, huh?”
Jane immediately turned her face towards the woman, with eyes as big as plates.
“I’m just joking, sweetheart. I don’t care how or with whom it happened.”
She looked around some more with the machine, and found out that it is a boy. After turning off the machine, she asked some more questions, and then concluded:
“Well, you seem to be doing fine. The only thing is that you have a really big baby inside you, compounded with a big bag of waters and an enlarged uterus. You gotta be careful with the birth. It would be wise if you could come here some more times before the birth, but, knowing what situation you are in, I know this may just not happen. I will say only this, therefore: try not to make anything crazy.”
With that, Jane left the office. Some days later, during a meeting of The Pledge Group, that same colleague that indicated the “clinic” before announces proudly to everybody during their general presentation:
“I contacted the authorities about that ‘clinic’ (she makes air quotes) that was giving support to illegal immigrants in our town. I’m proud to say that it was closed, and a number of illegals were detained there and they are on their way to be deported.”
Everybody clapped, including Jane. Well, I guess I’ll have to go by myself from now on, she thought.
Some more time passed. Her womb was reaching a ridiculous size, which was making hiding it a challenge. One of her tricks, which was to use a heavy jacket kept somewhat open, wasn’t working anymore. She kept having to use the football jerseys more and more. She stayed at her dorm more often, trying to minimize the chance of people seeing her. For most meetings of The Pledge Club she would give an excuse, although for some important ones she would still appear, trying to disguise her huge belly the best she could.
Which brings us now to today, back at the protest in front of the Abortion clinic. According to the due date that the woman at the “clinic” gave her, she is five days past her due date. Her abdomen is colossal now. Sometimes, when she is alone at her room at the dorm, she looks at herself at the mirror and can’t believe that she was able to hide such vastly pregnant belly. She feels like she has a blimp coming out of her torso, with junior blimps flying in formation emerging from her chest.
Carrying that much in her womb has made Jane tired. She is feeling fatigued now at the protest. Plus, she is feeling some twinges in her belly, accompanied by pain in her lower back, which are making her uncomfortable. She excuses herself from the rest of the group, and goes back to the campus. After parking her car, she goes to her dorm and tries to relax in bed. Given that Caroline will be out all day doing some physical preparation for a triathlon, she knows that she will be by herself, and she stays in her bed wearing solely her bra and panties. She massages her huge belly, trying to soften some of the discomfort. It feels more like cramps on her belly, with pain in her lower back spreading to the bottom and the top of her belly. When one comes, she breathes slowly, and that helps bear when that “feeling” peaks over. She looks down on her own torso, thinking how much she changed from the thin and nimble girl she used to be. Especially in these last weeks, moving around has become a chore.
Later in the day, she has to get out of bed to go to a class. She puts on the football jersey again, yoga pants, and makes her way to the classroom, slowly. The cramps in her abdomen haven’t got any better: quite the opposite, they are regular and quite intense. When she walks, she has to keep her focus in order to not give any sign of what is going on inside her. She hasn’t thought yet what she is going to do after the inevitable conclusion of this process.
During class, she shifts on her seat several times, trying to find a more comfortable place to sit. But it looks like no position will make her feel good. To not bring attention to her, though, she concentrates in not grimacing or wincing, when the cramps hit her womb. They are pretty intense now, only lots of concentration can keep her from moaning. The professor goes on and on and on with the class, which for her seems to last forever.
Mercifully the class finishes, and Jane makes her way even more slowly back to the dorm. She is not feeling very hungry, and decides to just each some crackers in the bedroom. She thinks that a hot shower probably would do wonders for her. So, she enters the little bathroom attached to their bedroom (one of the great advantages of this University is that each room in the dorm has its own tiny bathroom) and undresses herself. When she removes her panties, she notices that there is some goo on them. She doesn’t know, but that’s her mucous plug. She ignores that, though, and gets under the shower. The water dripping down from her breasts over her belly makes her feel less uncomfortable. The cramps are coming regularly, not much time between them. Her abdomen becomes a solid dome under her breasts when one of them peaks, and with nobody listening, she moans: “oooooo…” That combined with the shower makes her think that this is not so bad, after all, she may be able to go through this not as dramatically as she was fearing.
However, once she leaves the shower, things get dicey. Without the relief of the water, the contractions – because now even Jane has to admit that they are contractions – are painful and every time one happens, she bends over and leans against the bathroom wall, moaning a little louder when they peak: “oooooOOOOOOOooooo…” It takes some time for her to dry herself up, and then to put her panties and a large T-shirt, that she uses to sleep. The T-shirt is now very stretched and showing clearly her large pregnant abdomen, but when she is under the blanket in bed Caroline can’t see that.
Jane waddles to the bed, piles some pillows against the headboard, and lays there, her torso supported by the pillows. She is in a half-sitting position, which allows her to read. She starts reading a book, to see if she can put her mind into something else. When a contraction comes, she grabs the blanket strongly, closes her eyes, clenches her teeth, and moans as quietly as possible. The pressure on the hemisphere that constitutes her belly is growing. Her powerful uterus is squeezing her baby out: with a major contraction, she can feel the entire body of the baby, and she shudders when she realizes that it is really big. Her cervix is now being stretched and pushed, and she can feel that. However, at no time she stops to think what she is going to do once the baby is finally out of her body. Her mind can only think of keeping this pregnancy a secret, even though she won’t be pregnant much longer.
Just as a particularly strong contraction is peaking over Jane, Caroline enters the room. She is sweaty and her cheeks are red: she has been running. She says to Jane:
“This triathlon training is killing me! I’m exhausted. I’m just going to take a quick shower and I’m going to collapse in bed.”
“OK!” It’s all that Jane musters to say. Caroline enters the bathroom. Jane is now trying to contain, the best she can, the closer and closer contractions. The head of her baby is now a cannon ball pressuring her cervix. She holds the blanket really tight in her hand, and grunts when a contraction arrives.
Caroline’s shower is really short, and she leaves the bathroom also in a T-shirt and panties. She lays in her bed and asks:
“Are you going to be reading for too long?”
Getting together all her willpower and concentration, Jane answers:
“No. In fact, I’m going to sleep now too.”
And she turns off the light on her nightstand. Caroline does the same, and in no time she is snoring lightly.
There won’t be any snoring for Jane. She is sweaty and her face is flushed. An idea comes to her mind. She opens a drawer on her nightstand: inside of it, there is a small leather wallet that was a gift from her brother. She never used it, but now it is going to be useful. Jane puts the wallet in her mouth, and bites it.
And it is right on time: the worst contraction so far crests over her. She bends her body over, closes her eyes and bites the wallet with all her might. Her gravid abdomen is heaving with the amount of force being exerted on it. The amount of pressure inside her is unbelievable, until she hears a “pop”, and a flood of amniotic fluid spreads over her bed. Her blanket and the bed spread get drenched. This is going to be one difficult stain to clean.
Jane is panting, still holding the wallet in her mouth. Before she has time to catch a breath, another contraction surges over her with even more power: her poor body is being torn by powerful forces beyond her control. With the bag of waters torn apart, the baby’s head feels to her as if a sledgehammer is being used against her cervix. The feeling is so intense that Jane thinks her body won’t be able to cope with this, and in the following day Caroline will wake up to find her poor body ripped open in bed.
Somehow, a pattern is stablished: a contraction starts peaking, Jane bites the wallet with all her force and holds the blanket tightly in her hands, the baby forces itself even more through the cervix, Jane grunts, she think she will not survive this, the contraction peters out and she catches a breath. This pattern repeats for quite some time, more and more enlarging her cervix, letting the baby into the birth canal. Jane wonders how much more the baby will need to stretch the cervix to get out: it’s truly an enormous baby.
The darkness makes matters worse. There is nothing else to distract her, only the enormous pressure on her heaving abdomen. Jane is feeling too hot now, so she throws away the blanket. That reveals that her breasts, filled to the brim, have been leaking milk. Her T-shirt has two big stains where her nipples are. The rest of the T-shirt is sticking to her body that is covered in sweat now. If there was light, the fabric would be quite transparent and clearly showing her huge belly.
The contractions come really close now, without respite. Jane feels that a bowling ball is being pressed out of her cervix and into her birth canal. Despite all that, she is not screaming: the wallet is working great. She does make noises, though, and only because Caroline is really tired that she doesn’t wake up.
Now, she feels a terrible urge. Her whole body is telling her to push. She doesn’t know if it is the right time or not, she can only obey what her body is ordering her to do. She opens her legs wide, and holds them with her hands, at the same time that she lowers her head into her chest. Closing her eyes, Jane feels like the weight of the world has been put over her immense pregnant belly. She is beyond anything rational, operating purely on the most basic, instinctive animal level. She doesn’t care anymore about the University code of conduct, about Caroline, about The Pledge Club. The only thing that matters, the only thing at all, is to push this oversized baby out.
With the silence and the darkness, she can only focus on the intensity of the feelings coming from her birth canal. She is sure there is a very solid soccer ball being pushed there, stretching it to a point she thought it was impossible. Losing her virginity was painful; but this is above any scale. In a very brief interval between contractions, with her right hand she pulls her panties to the side and puts two fingers inside her vagina. They don’t go deep at all – the baby is right there, bulging her vagina out.
Her body, being tired of carrying such burden inside, decides that it wants this baby out now. And so, a contraction that is above the previous ones in terms of intensity, tightens her gravid womb terribly. Jane grunts strongly, and pulls her legs as if trying to get them out of their sockets. Her compressing uterus is controlling everything else that happens in her body. When this terrible contraction peters out, she puts her hand in her vagina, and can feel that not only it is bulging out, but the lips are a little apart. She could touch a little bit of the baby’s head.
At this moment, Jane thinks that somebody pointed a flame thrower at her private parts. They are in flames. She gets scared for a second, and feels that the baby recedes a little bit. But, the little part of her mind that is still thinking realizes that she must push through the pain to get this baby out, and finish this as soon as possible. As she notices another contraction building up, she pulls her legs again, takes a deep breath, and pushes with all her might.
And the force of this contraction is again record breaking. Her torso raises from the bed, and her belly is heaving with the intense effort. She truly believes her body won’t be able to tackle so much force and it will dismantle. If her abdomen were a beach ball, it would be the most solid beach ball ever made. She is grunting as much as she can, between her teeth closed on the wallet. It feels like time has stopped, and she will be pushing for eternity, until the effort decreases and she returns to her normal position.
Jane puts her hands between her legs again. The head is out now. Also, she had forgotten to remove or rip her panties, and somehow they got on the way of the baby’s head. Now the panties are torn apart. She keeps her hand down there when another contraction hits her, and she can notice that the head rotates.
Then, a super human contraction starts building up. Jane notices that this will be the biggest one ever. She catches her breath, bite the wallet with all her might, pulls her legs (there are red marks on them now) and pushes as the brutal force of the contraction unleashes on her, like a hurricane hitting the coast. Jane’s face is now scarlet, and the drops of sweat are drenching the bed. The bed is in awful shape, with amniotic fluid, milk and sweat all mixing on it.
The shoulders are really big. For an unbearable time, there is this incredible tension between the power of the contraction against the shoulders of the baby pressing the vagina. Her whole body trembles with the intensity of what is happening. This is more intensity than it was ever supposed to take. She is beyond pain now, this is the very limit where her massive belly cannot keep this baby anymore and needs to put it out.
She doesn’t even need to touch with her hand to realize that incredibly slowly the shoulders are moving out. The pressure doesn’t abate: it continues, squeezing the baby’s shoulders out. Eventually, the contraction subsides, she relaxes, and her right hand feels that the head and shoulders are out.
Her uterus, though, after carrying all that for nine months, is just done with this. So, one more contraction comes, with unrelenting pressure. In this moment, Jane is so tired of this that she spits the wallet out and just clenches her teeth, grunting like crazy. Her pained vagina feels clearly the arms coming out. Once this contraction goes away, she extends her arms and catches her baby by the armpits. With one final contraction (this is almost over, she thinks, just one more) the baby comes out of her completely, and the bed is drenched one more time with amniotic fluid.
A undescribable feeling of emptiness takes over her. At long last, all that extra weight is no longer in her body. She raises her baby, and he begins to cry loudly. She had forgotten about that. Trying to make him go quiet, she brings him to her chest, with one hand raising her drenched T-shirt to expose a breast, and the baby latches. He stops crying and starts nursing strongly.
However, it’s too late. Caroline mumbles: “What’s going on?…” and turns the light on her nightstand. Once there is light, Caroline sees an incredible picture, and her jaw falls on the ground.
Jane has time to come up with only one thought to try to explain all this, and she says:
“Caroline, you wouldn’t believe: some lady knocked on our door, she said that she couldn’t raise her child, and asked if we can take care of her baby! Would you believe that?”
Caroline pauses for some time, and then says:
“The umbilical cord is coming from your private parts…”
“Oh” is all that Jane can say.
“Come on, I knew you were pregnant. You couldn’t hide that gigantic belly from your roommate. I didn’t tell anything because, honestly, I didn’t know how to deal with it myself…”
“So, what should we do now?”
“I’m telling you what we should do. We should first cut that umbilical cord: I read about that somewhere. Then we should call 911 and we will see what happens.”
And they do just that. Caroline grabs a scissor and some string, ties the cord and then cuts it. Immediately after, with one last effort Jane’s uterus pushes out the placenta on the bed. That bed will never be used again for sure. Then, Caroline calls 911, and soon enough the EMTs show up to take care of Jane and the baby.
A year later, Jane is trying to get her diploma. Obviously, she had to leave the University. The college conducted the process very discreetly. It seems that this had happened before, a number of times actually, and in every occasion the University had kept things quiet so that nobody knew that the code of conduct had been violated that many times.
Jane’s parents were much more understanding than she expected. She was concerned about what their reaction would be but, after the initial shock, they were very supportive. They helped her at the beginning, and then later she was able to join a different University, that didn’t have such a strict code of conduct. In fact, that University had daycare, which allowed her to proceed with her studies.
Sometime after she started college again, Adam contacted her. He had found out about what happened and wanted to help. He would give financial assistance and he wanted to share the custody of the baby. They would not start a relationship, however, because he was now in a relationship with a former team-mate of the University’s football team. After him and Jane had sex, he had confessed to this team-mate about his feelings and that he still wasn’t attracted to women. To his surprise, that team mate replied back that he was having the same “wrong” feelings. They started secretly dating, but were discovered by the coach. As a result, both were quietly expelled from the college.
Now, Jane is very close to earning her diploma. She thinks her future is bright, and she has a companionship in her journey, with her healthy and happy baby. More than that, she feels freer now than she ever was at The Pledge Club.